Just the click of the babyswing

This post was written a few weeks into being a mamascholar of two.  I was teaching online for my university because I did not have any paid maternity options.

It is my favorite time of day.  All my boys, including the biggest one are in bed.  Niko is swaddled tightly in his babyswing and its back forth clicking sound provides just enough white noise to keep me awake.  I should, of course, be asleep.  That his the first rule they teach you in mama school--you sleep when the baby sleeps.  But I have to tell you, I have always ignored this quite sound advice.  It is so rare to have it quiet enough to even make notice of the babyswing that I cannot pass up the chance to just sit here and listen to my own breath for a moment.  I will admit that the first thing I did was check my course email.  My online course feels a little like the desperate attempt to finance my maternity leave that it of course is.  As much as I try to justify that to myself, I do feel guilty for not dedicating more time to my teaching. But thankfully the students, who probably are thrilled that I am not as attentive as I should be, have not left any desperate pleas for extensions, so I return to enjoying the quiet of the house.  The moment is almost gone, I hear the baby starting to stir and I know another nursing marathon is about to begin.